And sometimes it feels like maybe it was all a dream...
He's always on my mind, of course, in that way that all of my children are on my mind. Even if they're not with me, I have a pretty good sense of where they are all the time. (I'm fully aware this is starting to change with the teenage-stage, but that's probably for a different blog entirely.)
And Sam comes up ever-so-casually in conversation, most of the time.
Solly used to talk about him at bedtime nearly every night. "I miss Sammy," he would say in a plaintive tone.
He hasn't done that lately.
But last night, out of the blue, he said:
I really miss Sammy and I want him to appear back.We need some magic.
Chase has some magic but he used it all up.
I'm going to ask him to get some more from his mom and we can use it to make Sammy appear back.
I sent Chase's mom a message, a transcript of this conversation.
I told her, "Apparently, Solly thinks you are very powerful."
And what she told me was a little bit surprising to me.
Remember, we're talking about four-year-olds here.
She said that her son, one of Solly's besties, talks about Sammy all the time. And when she questions Chase about it, reminding him that he never even met Sammy, he replies,
"but he's Solly's brother and I love him."
I have no idea how much Solly talks about Sam when he's at preschool. But it's clearly enough that his friend also knows and loves our Sammy. And I'm so very glad.
438 days is a LONG time for a four-year-old to do anything.
He's changed a lot in the last 438 days.
But I know one thing for certain, absolutely and completely: Solly hasn't forgotten about Sam.
And I know that Sammy would be so glad of it.
Now we have to work on explaining that not even magic could bring our Sammy back.